i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
