Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
