No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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