sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
