Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
