ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Let's paint friendship bongs
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
