Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
