Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
