my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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