I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please don't give away my fajitas
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