Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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