yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
