I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
