my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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