so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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