This girl is more easily done than said...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
