Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
