Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
