Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I look better un-naked...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
