it's too hot outside to masturbate.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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