Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Panties = found
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
