Your dad touched me again.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
