Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
