absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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