8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
