3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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