we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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