There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
