Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
