don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
