i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
