wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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