I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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