It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He felt like a one man threesome
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
