can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
