if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
