why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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