dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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