That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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