woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
