were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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