it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
