I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
