So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
