i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
