is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
COCAINE IS GR8
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
