Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
