Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
