Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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