how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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