i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
