To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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