You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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