Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
